Coursework: A Personal Reflection on the Five Elements and their Emotions

A Personal Reflection on the Five Elements and their Emotions

 Clinic Communications II

AOMA Summer 2015

Water

Nature of the Qi/A place before structure and conception.

Something that has been of interest to me for a long time is the connection and relationship between our “heart and mind.” How do they communicate? How do they trust each other? I find it interesting that perhaps what I have been referring to as the “heart” is more akin to water, to the kidney Qi. It is the deepest mind, or what I also call “the lizard brain,” that instinctual part of ourselves that only feels, it cannot see or hear, it cannot rationalize. It lays deep inside our bodies and connects us to our deepest desires, the inmost request. (more on this later)

Wood

Ability to say"No"

I find great power and protection in saying "no". In fact, I often have said "no" to things before they were even asked of me. I remember being in elementary school and when all the other girls would be sitting together at lunch I would choose to sit apart from them. I would reject them before they could reject me. I found power and control in that choice.

Spontaneity

Now I find myself surrounded by spontaneous “yes” people. Sometimes they can say it to a fault which can anger and frustrate me. I find it hard to watch them be unable to say no when they really need to or want to. But I think as much as I love being able to say no, to defy others, I surround myself with those “yes” people in order not to isolate myself too much. I know I’m good at planning and decision making, so surrounding myself with more flexible people has taught me how to be more bendable myself.

Fire

Spirit

As I mentioned before, I’ve always had an interest in the relationship between the “heart and mind.” What I’ve realized thru this class is that what I’ve been calling the heart is more akin to the kidney Qi and what I was calling the mind was really the heart Qi: the higher mind, or the rational mind, how we perceive each other and ourselves. As we have heart/kidney imbalance so too we can have heart/mind imbalance. How often we have all experienced knowing something in our higher mind/heart Qi to be true but feeling with our deeper emotion the very opposite. I had an experience many years ago where I followed that deeper instinct/kidney Qi and I shut out my higher mind/heart Qi. It was the wrong choice and caused me many years of pain and sorrow. After it was over my heart Qi took over and I built a great wall around my kidney qi. My heart Qi was angry at my kidney Qi for leading me so far astray and it took many years before I was able to help rebuild the trust between the two. Now I always try and sit in peace and listen to the voices of each in the hopes of keeping that balance safe.

Earth

Part of a group/Connection

Growing up in LA I never felt like I belonged. I always felt like an outsider and wondered if I would ever truly feel comfortable in my own skin. When I went to Bennington college in Vermont it was like this huge weight had been lifted. I felt like myself, among my own spiritual tribe. I felt beautiful, accepted and understood. Living in Austin has definitely made me feel the same, perhaps even more so. While I still am very connected to the northeast, there is some part of it that I find old and stuck in certain traditions, especially when it comes to creativity. In Austin, I love the unabashed love of the weird and different. It’s so inspiring and makes me feel like anything is possible in my future.

Metal

Nature of Qi/Rhythmic order.

In the tarot the death card is one of my favorites. Death, a skeleton strolling peacefully through the world is smiling because he knows what follows him: new growth. Without death, life would lose it’s preciousness. Without pain there would be no pleasure and maybe more importantly, there would be no understanding of the worth of that pleasure. I hate how in movies and shows when they show the death tarot card it always represents a bad omen. Just another example of how American's view death, with fear and misunderstanding. Death is not evil or cruel, it just is.